I never imagined someone so small could teach such big life lessons. Nineteen months ago my eyes were opened to a unique world, a world I believe only a select few of us have the privilege to enjoy. You have to take time, sit back, and observe to really notice your secret world. I have done this even if for only moments a day; I have been amazed, truly amazed.
I am typically quick moving, a mile a minute gal. Yet even though I function on such exhaustion, schedule book in hand, I find myself reflecting, watching and reveling in my son’s every day accomplishments.
I used to think milestones put on the typical growth chart were so important but I’ve come to see the ones we don’t tally and score mean so much more. I love to observe my son taking the Tupperware out of the cabinet and distinctively looking for the one containing the quarter inch of flour that he loves to play in. He always finds it and even though it is near empty, he manages to cover himself, head to toe, with flour. I watch as he cruises around the furniture looking for the remote or the unsuspecting cat, to get his hands on. If he finds the cat it is usually one, no two, no three kisses and then four or five swats before the cat is released. The poor cat. He loves him though, I think they have an understanding. His first word was meow.
I love the way he makes me feel important. I can’t help but think, God, I love you, every time he smiles at me. I love how he pretends to talk on the phone, one of the reasons I try to limit my conversations. He must have picked it up somewhere, oops.
I am amazed at his love for music. He gets his whole body going. He can’t decide which part to move first and he always goes for the big finish. He participates fully in music time at school, knowing when to ring the bells, shake his shakers, rock, bounce, and sign some of the words.
He has opened my eyes to what an amazing person my daughter is. She has always been my sensitive soul, full of love, and now I see her more fully. He showed me how to enjoy her special qualities, and to be patient with her. I love to watch him crack up at his sister and pull her hair, almost like payback for all the annoyance he put up with earlier. I love that he has given his sister the gift of friendship and allowed her to see the world through a different set of rules.
My most favorite moments are when he crawls over to kiss my leg and then crawls quickly away, only to turn around and do it three or four more times. At the most unexpected, stressful and hectic times, here he comes with a smile and a kiss. It’s almost like saying, It’s OK Mom; it will be all right.
I love to see his smile as he gently swings the basement door open looking for Dad. He calls him to come up and get him, “Dada, Dada,” and goes right for the computer keys. I love the way he looks at his papa and laughs, a distinctive, indescribable laugh, and we have no idea why. Most of all I love that he is determined. He might be a force to be reckoned with someday.
All of these things that pass us by in typically twelve months have taken a slow nineteen months to develop. Each one is worth celebrating, each one appreciated, each one a triumph. I look forward to many more life lessons both my children will offer me. My son’s name is Lucas; it means bringer of light. He has lived up to his name already, for he brings light into all of our lives.